PoliticalDerby.com

PD reader Bruce dropped us a message that included an interesting proposition - what if the primary in Puerto Rico, which is not a U.S. state, were to be the deciding factor in the race for the Democratic primary?

Puerto Rico, which is a U.S. territory, cannot vote for electors in the electoral college, which essentially means they cannot help elect a President in the general election.

Yet, they can play a role in the picking of a presidential nominee.

Now at this point, I think Puerto Rico will wind up meaningless, based on the delegate math out there. There are 217 delegates up for grabs in the remaining primaries and as of this afternoon, about 270 unpledged super delegates.

Barack Obama is 180 delegates away from clinching the nomination. Obama is likely to win Oregon, South Dakota and Montana and Clinton is expected to do well in West Virginia, Kentucky and the aforementioned Puerto Rico.

If we make the assumption that the delegates from these six contests will roughly get split, event giving Hillary say, a net gain of 10 to 15 delegates, it still leaves her 145 delegates behind Obama and him less than 80 from clinching.

Queue the super delegates, which I would logically think the majority would have to go to Obama’s side. Many of them are in the Pelosi group that have promised to side with the delegate leader at the end of the primary season.

And how can Hillary be that leader?

Well, while theoretically she can, just as theoretically I could be a professional football player. I haven’t put the pads on since freshman year of high school, it ain’t happening.

Put it this way, if Hillary wins all six of the remaining primaries (which she won’t), and win them by a 75 to 25 percent margin (which she won’t) she would still trail Obama by 40 or so delegates.

But if things were a lot closer, Bruce’s point remains. How do you feel about a U.S. possession that is not a state being a deciding factor in a presidential nomination race?

There seems to be a long-standing rule in politics. If you say that it’s so long enough, then it’s so. While the Clinton’s are not the inventors of this phenomenon, they are certainly the masters of it… or at least they used to be. There are so many things that actually aren’t true that Hillary (and Barack as well) keep saying are true, that I just don’t know where to begin. But here’s a list in no particular order to get the ball rolling.

Hillary is stronger against McCain.
The American people all want Universal Healthcare supplied by the government.
We all want to be taken care of in all aspects of our lives by the government.
The sky is orange, or purple, or whatever they say it is.
Hillary has a snowball’s chance in Tucson of winning.
Democrats will all unite behind either Barack or Hillary.
Hillary is ready day one, at 3:00 in the morning.
The polar ice caps are melting (have you seen the latest news on this?).
Al Gore in vented the Internet.
We can save the economy with higher taxes.
We just need to talk with the terrorists, honest!
The energy crisis is solved with corn.

Need I go on? I suppose not, but feel free to add to the list!

So Hillary Clinton took Indiana in the primaries last night. Big deal. As everyone knows, she plans on staying in the race for a very long time. Not until June. Not until the convention. But forever. Hillary Clinton is going to stay in the race forever.

Will she go down in history as the first president to be female? No. She will go down in history as the first presidential candidate to achieve immortality.

Like everyone else under the age of – let’s be honest – 93, I’m pretty burned out by this entire race. Several months ago, I would have enjoyed watching the primary returns on CNN. Last night however, instead of watching the returns for Indiana and North Carolina, I thought I would have a movie marathon instead. I just need to do something that has nothing to do with politics whatsoever. A movie marathon should get my mind off this never ending race!

The following is a list of some of the movies I ended up watching, trying to get my mind off the race and Hillary Clinton in particular:

* Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, the 2003 movie about a cyborg who just can’t seem to die or go away.

* Interview with a Vampire, the 1994 movie about a vampire who just can’t seem to die or go away.

* Nightmare on Elm Street, the 1984 movie about a serial killer who just can’t seem to die or go away.

* I then decided to take a break and play my favorite computer game, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, a game about an international thief who just can’t seem to die or go away.

Dammit. Mission not accomplished.

Here is a bit of eerie synchronicity, kiddles:The real Derby — the one in Louisville last Saturday — saw the only filly in a field of males finish second. Then she (i.e., Eight Belles) had to be put down on the track.

{Echo: “Pry the race from her cold dead hands…”}

The ultimate winner? Big Brown.

Coincidence? I think not!

In honor of tonight’s Daily Show appearance by John McCain, I shall make a feeble attempt to emulate (drum roll, please) my esteemed colleague nouveau, M. Ryan Shattuck.

You know you’re a McCainiac if:

1. Saying the name Mike Huckabee gives you hiccups.

2. You keep a swift boat stored on concrete blocks in your back yard.

3. You have another one in the front yard filled with koi.

4. Efferdent tops your weekly shopping list.

5. You’re married to James Carville. Well, you know you’re a converted McCainiac.

6. Your favorite “Lord of the Rings” character is Gimli.

7. You TiVo Lawrence Welk on PBS every Saturday.

8. The only bohemian you know is national.

9. You keep a full-body bronze of Ronald Reagan in your bedroom. And you don’t hang clothes on it.

10. And, last but not least, you know you’re a McCainiac if you live in Bellevue’s mental ward, because insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results.

McCain wants to continue Bush’s agenda on almost every front. Permanent tax cuts for the rich, $300-$1200 “cake” for the rest of us. McCain wants to keep us in Iraq for the next century.

I don’t want to be there when the karma catches up (several lives from now).

Obama crushed Clinton in North Carolina.

Clinton leads in Indiana as I speak, but her potential win there isn’t that big.

What does it mean?

Hillary, it is over.

End it, go away please.

I’m going to beat a dead horse here, but the large female has started her first verse. The song is being sung.

UPDATE - Indiana may be closer than the 4% that is being reported now at a bit before midnight. If it gets closer, or even if it flips to Obama, this could be the dagger-in-the-heart to Hillary.

UPDATE 2 - I just heard on TV that Hillary originally was going to appear on the morning news shows and now has cancelled those appearances. I think this could show us the beginning of the end.

Does Hillary take Indiana and keep it within 10 in North Carolina?

My father only discovered computers and the internet in the last year, and has unfortunately become one of those people who sends every stupid internet joke and forward he gets to everyone on his contact list.

Virtually every one of them I’ve seen before or it’s just a dumb message.

Until he sent me this one, which along with Ryan’s number 10 on “You might be a superdelegate if” nearly made me snarf beer out of my nose last night.

It was slightly edited for some profanity, but it’s relatively mild.

POLITICAL COMMENTARY FROM DENMARK :

We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.

On one side, you have a b**** who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, and a lawyer who is married to a b**** who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a contest here?

Who knew the political pundits of Denmark were so wise?

Barack Obama says on Meet the Press that Hillary Clinton most likely will stay in the race until the end. As of today, the Democratic primary has now lasted approximately 1,342 weeks. What is America to do?

Well fear not, you 72 million registered Democrats (give or take a few million) out there. I have a solution.

Consider the following:

FACT: Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are currently in a statistical tie.
FACT: The only way Barack can offer the final blow OR Hillary can pull ahead is for the super delegates to announce for whom they are voting.
FACT: For some reason, many super delegates across the U.S. have still not announced who they are supporting.

THEREFORE: Most of the super delegates are not aware that they are a super delegate.

It’s simple! Once you know you’re a super delegate… you’ll announce your support for either candidate… and then the greatest debate of all time in the history of time and space will come to an end. But how exactly is a person to whether they’re a super delegate?

YOU MIGHT BE A SUPER DELEGATE IF:

1. You inexplicably feel a large sense of power and responsibility whenever you watch CSPAN.
2. You’re having dinner at Red Lobster, and Ted Kennedy’s paying.
3. You giggle whenever you overhear someone say “I sure wish the super delegates would just decide already.”
4. Oprah sends you a brand new car – and even pays the taxes on it.
5. You wake up with a hangover, after doing shots with Hillary the night before.
6. Barack stops by Burger King while you’re working the evening shift, and tells you he’s so concerned that you only make minimum wage that it keeps him awake at night.
7. You’ve been fake-interviewed by a Daily Show correspondent. Twice.
8. Chelsea asks you if she can put you in her ‘top 8 friends,’ despite the fact that no one uses MySpace anymore.
9. You suddenly starting using words like “gravitas” and “more important than everyone else I know” when describing yourself in an online personal ad.
10. You’re a Nobel Peace Prize winning, Academy Award winning, former vice-president.

I’m so over this whole race.

Tell me why I should care anymore…

While it may seem that the McCain campaign is on their couch with a tub of popcorn, watching the shoot fight-to-the-death between Clinton and Obama, they actually are doing some work in preparation for the general election.

One of the key issue McCain will inevitably face is his age.

And how do you combat the fact that your candidate would be 72 on the day of his inauguration?

Simple - float the name of a 36-year-old governor as your Vice Presidential nominee!

Bobby Jindal’s name has been mentioned by several McCain staffers in recent days, on the tail of McCain’s spending time in New Orleans with the young Louisiana Governor.

Even if this is just an attempt to keep McCain’s name in a news cycle dominated by the Obama/Clinton death match, it is further indication to me that despite strong calls to do so, I believe John McCain will not pick a “strong conservative” as his running mate. At the very least, I don’t feel it will be the primary qualification for his potential running mate.

The GOP Veepstakes are warming up quickly…